This was just too good not to post:
Protecting Themselves from the Elements
Winter: What’s that, you say the wind chill is negative twenty degrees? Psht. Mittens and ear muffs are for those who want to feel. Puffy coats are for the weak and pampered. I like the cold. It numbs me. It helps me live in a cocoon spun from Parliaments, literature and existential thought.
Spring, Summer, Fall: Yes, I am aware that it has begun to rain. No no, I’m not going to pop open an umbrella or step under that scaffolding. Instead I’ll round my shoulders and drop my head to my chest in an even more exaggerated Charlie Brown position and keep walking, stepping in time to the exceptionally depressing Jolie Holland song crooning through my iPhone. When the outside matches the mood I’m in, I’m so fucking miserable/delighted, I can’t even tell you.